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Friday, July 16, 2010

He Spared My Life

My life was spared over an unexpected sale on men’ snakeskin boots. On a mundane southern afternoon, my mama reminisced against flashes of music from passing cars and sudden laughter from the open window. The sun’s light appeared brilliant against the sunken, dusty blue couch and crushed pillows that propped up her breast and arm. And as her voice fell against me like shards of glass, it was ironic that she sought to encourage me with her terrible news.

My mama told me to never believe that I was not meant to be here. That God had his hand upon me because she did her best to take me out. Upon learning of her pregnancy, she swiftly made an appointment and sat patiently in the clinic. And though he was late, she reassured herself that he would bring the money so she could move on without me.

But life would have it that he was delayed in route to the clinic by a sale on snakeskin boots. My mama shared when he walked in grinning in boots she’d never seen, she knew there was a problem. He apologized but kept proudly glancing at his feet as he shared he had always wanted a pair and they were finally on sale so she would just have to wait on the money.

Disappointed but determined, she made new plans to get me out the way. And as my mama sat in the clinic a second time, she tried to ignore the sinking feeling as the hands on the clock kept moving with no sign of him and the money. She learned later that he got arrested in route to the clinic for some mischief or the other. And so weary now, but not to be outdone my mother made a third appointment but she was too far along so she cursed everyone that worked there, including God who would not bring this to pass.

And so before I was introduced to the world, I survived three attempts on my life and entered the world under Genesis 50:20 “But as for you, ye thought evil against me; but God meant it unto good, to bring to pass, as it is this day, to save much people alive.” And within the secret plans for my death was borne a witness that we can all hold on to. That I am here, despite what others planned for me, because God never took his hand from me. And while he used snakeskin boots and sudden arrests to keep them off of me, there are symbols and stories in your life that demonstrates God’s love and protection of you.

And so as the light played against my mama’s pretty brown freckled face and I watched her beautiful lips tell of secret plots, I did walk away with something that would never leave me. I began to absorb that even if my own mama didn’t love me like she should, a greater power did. And while it’s hard to believe anyone can love you unconditionally if your own mama didn’t, it dawned on me that God cared enough about me to stop an unimportant black girl from having her way. And with my head resting on the cool bus window, the merest hint of a smile began to stretch across my face as I awakened to the understanding that I moved in favor.

My transparency about my beginnings is so you are able to embrace that His favor is the reason you are still here, despite what others planned for you. Your circumstances, challenges, pain, background, what people think of you…none of those can determine your destiny if you keep listening to who God says you can be. In her own tough way, my mama was encouraging me that I was here for a purpose. And that no matter what I would face through the years, I could look at that thing with courage because I did not face it alone.

Perhaps I’m here simply to share this simple truth... That God really loves you and will never leave you. Nor will he allow your enemies to overtake you, no matter how many times they come up against you. God is with you and His favor is simply a reflection of the immense love He has for you. I know it for myself and thought I’d remind you of that powerful truth.

8 comments:

  1. I'm defnitely not leaving the porch unchanged tonight, Dr. J.

    Quite like this, it was my mother who took me to an alley doctor's office. Stories about women who had died there were abundant. God stepped in, and the doctor refused, saying he could not get my blood pressure. Next, she took me to another one on a real downtwon street and was to bring me back with $100.

    As we arrived at home as I continued praying while I drove, she said, "You don't want this abortion, do you?" I told her that I didn't and wanted my baby. I offered would take whatever consequences came with that decision.

    She made appointments for me to get a job as a maid when interviews were being held for relocation to FL or NY. No one hired me.

    I ended up taking a name from the phone book, changing my last name with the plan that maybe the phantom husband/father would be killed in the Viet Nam war. When she was 5 months old, I was engaged to first husband who loved her dearly and gave me a wonderful son, God's gift.

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  2. Thank You! This is truly inspiring. We need more young people to read this. I try and share often with those I come in contact with, that "GOD HAS BEEN, IS NOW, AND FOREVER WILL BE IN CONTROL" Even Satan who is called the prince of this Earth, can only do what GOD allows! That's good news Y'all! Jothany continue to share your work.

    Blessed and Highly Favored

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  3. That was a beautiful testimony! Thank you for sharing and reminding us of God's unconditional love for His own.

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  4. Thanks for sharing this Darling...It really lifted my spirit..Quite timely too as I was beginning to think Im no longer on His radar..I love you very much J...
    Love me,
    IB9

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  5. This is awesome. As much as I want to be inspirational myself, I am here for a reason. There are many days that I don't know why or what my purpose is but I am glad to be here. That I recall, I had spinal meningitis at birth according to my mother, now deceased, told me once. I am here despite my beginning.

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  8. Dr. Jothany Blackwood..
    Since the last time I saw you in the office at the theater arts department at Fresno City College, there was something about you that kept me interested. You are an amazing woman, and this has just lifted my spirits. Your name came across my mind today, and I decided to look you up. By the grace of God I found this awesome blog! This was written more than 3 years ago, but the feeling it gave me was wonderful! :)
    I now have a daughter and a soon-to-be husband! I'm on cloud 9 with my beautiful princess, but things weren't great at the beginning of the pregnancy-- long story short, this post just made me remember that God is SO powerful! I dreamed and dreamed and prayed and prayed for my baby- and now she's here! :) I couldn't ask for anything more- she's my whole heart.

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